This past weekend was about kids. I only saw one of them, but they were all around.

I don't want one, but I want to be pregnant. I also want to hold one while watching t.v.

But I don't want one all the time.

Last week I was talking with the girls about you know life, drinking, significant others, the best places in town to pee, and the conversation shifted to marriage and the like. I approach all that with such a business like mind. I used to think I was being practical.....practicality with emotions. But after talking with them and with T, it's just practicality with cynicism really. How unromantic am I?

I want to change that about myself. I do want to spend the rest of my life with T....we are sort of going to move in together sometime soon. Slowly. And I want to keep my own apartment in case something goes wrong, that's why I am taking it slow. SEE?! Why can't I just DO IT. I know it's a big step, and I know in my heart what feels right and what doesn't. This feels right, totally. But then why the safety net. My number one reason not to get married is divorce. My number one rule IF I do get married is separate accounts with one joint for bills.

Between the babies thing and taking the next step.....am I a bad girlfriend?